I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
