While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
