So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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