I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
