i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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