shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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