Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
