if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
