does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
im drinking this country out of the recession.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
