Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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