i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
