toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
