we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
