just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
they call him Oral-B. enough said
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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