When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
