why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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