His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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