All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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