Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
