Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
