found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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