sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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