What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
