I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
