I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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