Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
whose parrot is this?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
