Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
