i permit you to call me
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
