he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I would ride that face into the sunset
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize