So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
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it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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