Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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