How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize