Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
