So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
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At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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