Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i've created a new STD.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
