i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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