He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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