Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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