So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
