When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i need some magic done to my vagina
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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