i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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