Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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