I cockslap morals
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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