I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
