Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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