So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am midnight drunk by noon
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
