1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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