R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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