I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
