the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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