bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
