i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
