That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
