you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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