$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
