grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
from now on my penis is your penis
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
this hospital has no fireball
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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