she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
