Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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