You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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