how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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