so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
