So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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