Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
