I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
