so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
