well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
