ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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