Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
