I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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