ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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