she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
