You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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