so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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