I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
